It really doesn’t make sense anymore to refer to Barack Obama as the “President” of the United States of America. He has long since abandoned the duties and responsibilities of that office as outlined in the Constitution, instead assuming powers which that document was specifically designed to outlaw. He needs a new title — but what should it be? The Duke of Earl would work for me, conveying both the pretension and the absurdity of the role he is trying to play. As he walks through this world, nothing can stop him — because he’s the Duke of Earl. Or is that being unfair to a great and wonderfully witty rock and roll song?

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